Book Club Calendar 2010

Just in case you need some book ideas, here is what my book club will be reading in 2010. And who can ever get images in any decent order? I swear they land in different places every time I post.

January 2010, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold


February 2010, As a Man Thinketh by James Allen


March 2010, The Life of Pi by Yann Martel


April 2010, The Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell


May 2010, The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak


June 2010, The Help by Kathryn Stockett


July 2010, Peace Like a River by Lief Enger


August 2010, The Only Alien on the Planet by Kristen D. Randle


September 2010, The Actor and the Housewife by Shannon Hale


October 2010, The Hunger Games Book #3 by Suzanne Collins


November 2010, Follow the River by James Thom

Three Year Olds

Despite having a 50/50 chance, three year olds always put their shoes on the wrong feet.

Three year olds call their favorite boy cousin, "Your Highness".

Three year olds know the rules at pre-school:
1. "Don't cry."
2. "We don't be mean."
3. "Don't hide the toys."

Three year olds pray for princesses. In every. Single. Prayer.

Three year olds sneak into your bed at night and after being tossed out for the third time, sleep on the floor next to your bed.

Three year olds push over almost one year olds and think it is okay as long as they say, "I'm sorry."

Three year olds name their first fish, Pinecone.

Three year olds sleep with the door cracked open, just a little bit.

Three years olds say things like:
"Don't do my hair. It hurts. It's hopeless."
"Wo Wo's pushing me, he is going to break me."
"Mama, I have a drumstick in my throat (while feeling throat bones)."

Three year olds like to be pinned, then tickled.

Three year olds are absolutely, undeniably, positively adorable, or at least my three year old is. Happy birthday Claire. Welcome to the world of three year olds.

Warm Woolies

If you are like me and are thinking about what to give people for Christmas (read: laying around and looking at catalogs eating left over T-Day goodies), I have an idea for you. My childhood bestie and cousin, Tiffany, has started making Warm Woolies. She made her first as a gift to a friend undergoing chemotherapy after uterine cancer. Wanting to give something heart-felt and useful she came up with this soft little pillow made of sherpa fleece and suede. The pillow has a pocket where you can insert a corn-filled bag that can be heated. When inserted the pillow radiates comforting heat. Wanting to spread the love, she and her family then donated 20 of these pillows to their local cancer center.

They had such a good response that they decided to set up an Etsy shop to sell some to pay for the materials to make more. The purchase of one Warm Woolie allows them to make and donate 15 Warm Woolies to patients at the cancer center. I love the idea of a gift that gives back and I think they would be great for someone who is ill, elderly, chronically cold (Anita and Shari), or for someone who has killer cramps (I won't name names on that one, but you may see a Warm Woolie coming your way). Happy shopping.

Weddings

Yesterday, I went to my dear friend Noelle's wedding in Arizona. She was stunning and composed. He was endearingly eager-to-please and palpably in love. The weather was perfect and they said their I-do's with the sun setting over the painted desert. I was one of Noelle's bride's maids and as I waited for Noelle to come down the aisle, I got to lock eyes with my Dave who was sitting in the audience. For those few seconds, I was reminded just why I love weddings so much. Each time you go to one you can't help but remember your own "big day". The nerves, the excitement, the chaos and then the stillness of the moment when it is just you and him, locking eyes, linked in love. And hope. And wonderment. And belief. And relief. And calm assurance that life will be abundant if only you have this person by your side forever.

Of late...

Dave had a training in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago, so the kids and I loaded up the car and went with him. After living in NY for ten years you think that the prospect of doing a city with two kids in tow wouldn't be intimidating, but I assure you it was. We ended up having a really great time and the kids and I managed just fine, although hiking the SF hills while toting a 20-pounder in a Baby Bjorn and pushing a stroller is no easy feat. The weather was perfect, our hotel was situated in the best possible spot (not to mention there were two bedrooms) and the kids were on their almost best behavior. Chinatown, Chrissy Field, the Painted Ladies, Cable Cars, The Exploratorium, The Palace of Fine Arts and The Golden Gate Bridge all fit into our agenda.

A visit to one of my favorite childhood greasy spoons, Sam Wo, proved to be disappointing. I remember loving to visit this busy, multistory Chinese dive with my family of eight. The building is about 10-feet wide and you enter through the crowded kitchen, past woks and chopping blocks and then climb the narrow steps to the first, second or third floor--wherever you can find a table. The food is delivered to your floor in a dumbwaiter and then brought to your table by a crusty server. The crusty server was still present, but the ambiance wasn't quite as bustling as I remembered it (read: no patrons except for one other group who was also reliving childhood memories). And the food--granted who can rely on a 12 year old's taste buds--had deteriorated substantially. CC declared she had to go to the restroom shortly after she arrived and when she got to the standing room only stall started backing out and declared she didn't need to go anymore. They always say things are never as good or as bad as you remember them and I believe this, but I really wanted Sam Wo's to be as good.

And then there was Halloween. Meet Napolean Dynomite and Deb.


The Princess Mouse and The Weeping Lady Bug

October 2, 1982

What was I thinking about when I was nine years old, you might ask (but probably never will)? I just found out this week, when my mom passed on several boxes of childhood mementos she has been trying to unload on me for years now. I found a true cache of childhood goodies--photo albums, friendship bracelets, school papers and of course journals. I can't tell you how great it is to peruse my thoughts at 6, 10, 13, 19 and 22. I am loving each entry. I had to read them in chronological order. It just makes me relish it a bit more. The bravado, the tenderness, the pettiness, the charity--it is all in there. This entry was priceless and I had to share it with original grammar and spelling in tact.

Dear Jornol,

Today I wanted to talk abut the goals I want to make when I grow up.

First, I want to marry an uposle.

Then I want to be a famous dancer and singer.

When I am old I want to be a nurse. (Would old have been about ten years ago to a nine year old me?)

I want to have lots of grand children that live next to me.

I also want to be rich.

I want to be famous for my sewing.

And Art.

I want to have six kids.

I want to have lots of dolls that I can collect.

I want to live longer than anyone.

I want to have a nice house.

I am going to look all around for a rich apostle.

Then I will become a famous dancer.

And I will practice to be a good sewer and I will become a famous sewer.

And I will practice drawing so I can become famous in my art.

I will be a good singer.

And I will be called on a mishon.

I will start collecting dolls now so I will have lots.

To become a nurse I will practice so I can be.

I am going to be a good mother when I grow up. I will teach my children about the gosble.

And my children will become good members of the church.

I will become the oldest lady in the world by being healthy.

Good night.

My Song Bird

Claire spends much of her play time singing little made up tunes while playing with her babies/dolls/animals. Usually her songs are also accompanied by dancing, which used to be just twirling, but now involves elaborate bouncing moves with arms straight up in the air. The girl can move. I searched for a picture of her singing or dancing spontaneously to go with the post and couldn't find one so I settled on another footloose play pic of Claire with her sunglasses on and her princess bag. This was taken the day that Claire found her sunglasses after they disappeared in the toy box for over a month. She wore them everywhere that day and wouldn't take them off for any delectable bride. They were so scraped up and the sun is so bright in the Desert that she couldn't see a thing with them on. At one point she turns to me while I am holding Baby K in my arms and asks, "Where is Kennedy, mom?"

Claire's songs are all nonsensical and can go on for upwards of an hour at a time. She sings in a sweet, clear tone, but not necessarily on key, and all her songs have a characteristic vibrato. My mom told me that while we were on vacation Claire quit singing. I know this shouldn't have made me happy, but secretly it did since it was the one inkling I got that she missed us and she resumed as soon as we got home.

I was catching up on some work the other day and Claire was doing unguarded Claire, singing and dancing. After a few phrases, I couldn't help but write her lyrics down. Here they are, unedited.

I'm sitting in my dress
Yes, I'm sitting in my dress

You love me this much (with arms extended wide)

I'm teaching my baby

How I wonder

The sheep

Da da dee dee (song momentarily interrupted by Claire screeching "MINE!" to Kennedy who had inadvertently approached the toy she was playing with).

Na na na nah

Heavenly Father, "How are you?"
I love you.

My mommy said to me I can do anything

I have a dress
Oh yes I do
Yes I do

I like my dress
Yes I do

We wonder
How we, how we, how we (and the songs trails off with her holding her last note until her breath expires)...

Everybody Tour 2009

This weekend Dave's sister Kim and her husband Lee came to town. In honor, we did lots of great things, the Padres game, Pipes Cafe, the San Diego Air Show, a midnight stop to Extraordinary Desserts and best yet, on Saturday night we went to see Ingrid Michaelson at the San Diego House of Blues. So good. So fresh. So fun. You must go and see for yourself. I'm a big fan but the rest of our group didn't really know her stuff and they loved it too--so you don't have to be a groupie to like the concert. Look here for the concert tour info, because if she is coming to a venue near you, you must check her out. Doesn't Dave look intense hot when he flexes?

Haunting

I have been haunted by some of the families I have worked with in foster care. Many of their stories of tragedy, and sometimes triumph, stick with me. But then there are those days when I think nothing moves me anymore and I just feel hardened to it all. Yesterday, while auditing records I was having one of those moments where I just felt numb to it all then I read a case about a family of four who were taken from their mother a year ago. One of the little boys story struck a chord with me and even though he is five, living in the South Bronx, and has endured things that a child should never experience, he reminded me of my Kennedy. Maybe it was the description of his placid demeanor or his quiet endurance, or maybe my girl was just on my mind but I couldn't get her eyes out of my mind, her soft cheeks, her scrunched up smile. I couldn't help but feel grateful that I get to raise her and that she gets to be raised by me--someone who "gets it" and realizes what an honor, joy, revelation and responsibility it is to be her mother. She woke up from her nap in the midst of my gratitude and I just held her singing this song.


Wise men say only fools rush in

but I can't help falling in love with you...

Take my hand, take my whole life too

because I can't help falling in love with you.

The Best of the Best Switzerland Part 2

On day 2 of our trip, the boys were getting restless for some high adventure, of the leave your poor wives wondering weather they might just watch their husbands leap to their death variety. To ease their adventure lust, they signed up for the Canyon Jump in Interlaken, Switzerland. Basically, they jumped off of a cliff into gorge, but that doesn't exactly describe this nail-biter properly. The jumpers freefall for 300 feet until the rope catches them nanoseconds before they crash into a roaring river and then swings them like a high speed pendulum back and forth over the floor of the canyon. I cannot tell you how horrifying it was watching this, or how wonderful it was when Dave climbed out of the canyon in one piece. I hate to say it, but I even thought to myself "If someone has to die, don't let it be Dave." Dave describes it as one of the most "thrilling" moments of his life, at least as soon as the rope started gaining some tension. The guys loved it so much that they signed up to do the "Spidey Jump" a second time.






DAVE'S JUMP--THE CHICKEN DANCE as we laughingly labeled it in view after view.


MARK'S JUMP--THE GINGERBREAD BOY. The name will become evident when you see the jump.


BARRETT'S JUMP--SPIDERMAN REVEALED, THE TRUTH BEHIND THE MASK. Must listen too at high volume to get Dave's full commentary and Bay's "a haute voix" reaction (yes, I am using snobby French phrasing, but hey I was on vacay in Switzerland!).

The Best of the Best Switzerland Part 1

Guess Where I Was Last Week?

We returned from our ten day trip to Europe this past week. Amazing is too small of a word to capture how great this trip was. There were three couples, Mark and Shari, Barrett and Danielle and me and Dave in a sweet nine passenger van with little to no agenda and wonderful, unencumbered (read: no children) time on our hands. Needless to say the kiddies were missed, but knowing they were in safe keeping in Grandma's capable hands helped. I only had one solid cry for my girls, when I found myself pumping milk for Kennedy in the van by myself. It was strange, but really sweet at the same time to have a very physical reminder of her several times a day.

We started by spending three days in the Swiss Alps, then bagged our trip to the South of France when temps started to soar and headed to the Bavarian Alps in Austria and Germany for three days. With several countries in driving distance, we decided to head back to Switzerland (yes, that is how much we loved it) for the last three days. We just couldn't get those snow capped mountains, lush green forests and incredibly blue glacial lakes out of our mind. We hiked, biked, zip-lined, explored, played tetris, shopped and ate in the most picturesque environs. And did I mention the laughing. The company was fantastic and I think we would have had a great time together even if we were just stuck in the van driving around for a few days, with the sliding door open of course so we wouldn't miss the scenery.

Pictures to come shortly, I hope. I am now sorting through the 1700+ pictures we all took. Ugh, the downside to digital cameras. I deleted 500 last night, and have a lot more work to do to take this vacay archive down to a reasonable size. Don't worry, no one will be invited over to endure a slide show, but I will let you get a peek of some overpopulated collages.

Creating Butterfly Days

The girls and I were mesmerized
by this.

Vacay Surrogacy

The other night I had a dream that my mom was a surrogate parent for me and almost full term. A few weeks before her due date, she calls me on the phone and tells me that she is in labor and the baby is going to be born within the hour. I rack my brain thinking how I can get there in time so I don't miss the birth of my own child and then sink as I realize there is no possible way I can be there on time--not by plane, train or automobile.

Do you think I am feeling anxious about missing out on my girls lives while my mom is watching them when I am in Switzerland and France in two weeks?

Taking a Stab

The other day my boss calls me and asks me if I could "take a stab" at a project for her. Of course, I said "yes" because I don't think I have ever said "no" to my boss, ever--or in fact, to any boss, ever. I am just not wired that way. She then tells me as part of our contract renewal for our foster care and preventive services programs they would like to apply to start a Special Medical and Developmental Preventive Program and she wants me to write the proposal, this week. Yikes.

Initially, I was overwhelmed and in fact about five minutes after I sat down to start to write decided that I needed a nap first. Which I took yesterday, but I have been going strong all day today and am having the best time writing a program from the ground up. We are proposing to serve 100 kids in the Bronx and East Harlem with a staff of about 20 workers and I can be as creative as I want. Its basically a program that is intended to serve families who are at risk of their children going into foster care. To be eligible for the program either the parent of the child has to have a chronic or terminal illness, mental retardation or developmental disability or other special medical need.

If you have ideas for a program pass them on and better yet, if you have an idea for a program name pass that on too.

Everyday

Everyday life is creeping up on me and of late I am just loving it. Lovin' each detail just wash over me. I've always loved summers because it doesn't even matter if your routine has changed at all but life slows down. The longer days allow for more time to just be and do. My girls are filling up my hours and I can't seem to get enough of their company. It doesn't last forever and there are those moments, hours and sometimes even full days where it is all too much, too trying, but then on a dime,

you walk in to check on a sleeping baby and see this face

you stop for a roadside potty break and witness this wistful look in a windy field,

you return to the car to see this gummy grip through a dusty window,

you experience in tandem laughing,

your neice dresses your baby like this,

you hold a wiggly one on a warm beach for what feels like forever,

you experience a "frist" and then suddenly, suddenly, suddenly motherhood
becomes joyful again.

SYTYCD Kayla and Kupono

One more reason that I looooove SYTYCD. This dance is so intense and really portrays addiction intimately. I thought Kupono was being a little dramatic until I actually watched the dance, now I am cutting him some slack. Incredible.

MJ 1958-2009

I was just checking blogs and feeling put out that no one seems to update their blogs anymore. Since I don't have that nifty app that tells me when everyone has updated their blog I have to laboriously check them one by one, one by one--disappointment upon disappointment. I was feeling pretty put out when I realized some of you may be put out too when clicking on my blog and finding the same old posts time after time. To appease the blog stalkers out there, this ones for you.

Part of the problem with blogging is finding things to blog about. Several blog ideas have popped into my head lately ranging from the prototypical posts--tribute to Dave on Father's Day (sorry babe, just didn't feel like it although you are a really good dad) and nostalgia from six, count 'em, six years of marriage--to reflective posts--memories of my youngest brother's cancer as a child (prompted by reading My Sister's Keeper) and my month with Jenna (my cute 11-year-old niece) who has reminded me of how amazing and carefree the time between childhood and teenage years can be. 

But today, I just can't get my mind off of Michael Jackson's death. I have always liked MJ (not the dangling baby, my best friend is a monkey or questionable sleep overs MJ, but the amazing music, dance and unbeatable performance MJ) and to date he gave the best concert I have ever been to. 

In honor of the MJ we know and love here are my Top Five MJ Moments:

1. Sixth grade--I purchase my first poster. MJ dressed in a yellow cardigan to match my yellow room. MJ technically becomes my first kiss as my friends and I would kiss him good night before going to sleep. Good times.

2. Freshman year, BYU-Hawaii--I have my first really good laugh at a Relief Society Lesson gone Bad (no pun intended) when the instructor plays Man in the Mirror when trying to drive home the principle of repentance.

3. Study Abroad--September 20, 1993, Tel Aviv, Israel. I see MJ in concert, stage center first row, me and 7000 of my closest friends jam are packed under the stars to see the King on his Dangerous tour. For any of you who have not been to an MJ concert, MJ appears out of nowhere and holds some iconic pose, perfectly still for what seems like five solid minutes, amidst fog and pyrotechnics while the crowd goes wild--WILD. Finally, with unbelievable speed, he breaks the pose and starts to dance. You can't get better than that.

4. Mission, Lyon, France--One of our investigators, Tina, throws a party for the missionaries and invites all her friends. At the party, the friends want to know how Americans dance. All the missionaries are a bit sheepish, except for one 110-pound Elder Barrett Morgan, who volunteers to dance, but first requests a hat as a prop. Tina can only locate a funeral pill box hat complete with a veil. Bay gives a perfect imitation of some classic MJ moves and then as his piece de resistance tips his head, pulls the hat over his face and expertly flings it to the side. The hat flies from his hand out Tina's 16th story apartment building window. 

5. Junior Year, BYU-Provo--my roommate Lianne comes home from a heart wrenching breakup in tears and asks solemnly, "Do you think God can speak to someone through Michael Jackson?". She then explains that post breakup she is driving home and feeling absolutely alone and starts to pray that God will be with her. A few moments later she turns on the radio and hears You're Not Alone.

And there are so many more stories and memories. Dave and Barrett, don't think I forgot about Central Park, NYC 2003 the best phone conversation ever. I'll miss you MJ you are part of the soundtrack of my life. 

Summer Beach Rental

I dreamed a dream that someday I would have a summer beach house and for the last three weekends it has gloriously come true. Let me just say that it is better than I could have imagined, so I want to share my summer secret with you. My husband's coworkers rented a condo in San Diego steps from the beach for the summer/early fall. They are not going to be able to use it all of the time so they want to rent it out on Craig's List. It is a great, I mean, fantastic deal so I thought I would post it here for you all to check out first. They are renting it for more on Craig's List so you all would be getting the insider deal. It is a sunny three bedroom, three full bathroom, fully furnished two story townhouse. There is a pool and hot tub in the complex and it is literally less than a private walk block (see path pic below) to the Del Mar beach, which is arguably one of the best beaches in San Diego. There is an outdoor patio and deck and BBQ. The back of the house borders an outlet to the ocean that is fantastic for the kids to play in (virtually no current). Also, the San Diego Fairgrounds are next door. The San Diego Fair runs for the rest of June and July and is not your basic mom-n-pop fair. They have tons of rides, animals, nightly weekend concerts, etc. Plus, this place is within walking distance of quaint, perfect, Del Mar--think Carmel-by-the-Sea style boutiques and amazing restaurants. There is also a world class golf course (Torrey Pines), horse racing, biking and running trails, farmer's market and nice surfing beaches nearby. I must put in a plug for the house watchers too, the Del Mar Beach has some incredible homes with fine architecture lining it. When we were strolling the beach I didn't know which direction to look. Did I say this place was incredible yet?

They are renting it for $150 a night, or $250 a night during the 4th of July week. There is a cleaning fee of $25 a night or $150 for a week, but if you promise to clean it well I could probably get that waived for you. Call me or email at johnstontara at hotmail dot com if you are interested. If a couple of you want to get together and rent the place they are fine with that too. We had three families in it the weekend before last and had a great time. If you need someone to accompany you, you just might be able to convince some 110 plus degree Desert dwellers to come along. Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

Book Club

I started a book club in April. This was a big step for me and part of my effort to make The Desert my home. I needed to be connected to not only people here, but to the future here so making a calendar of events one year out was a big deal. We met twice so far and both turned out great. I picked the first book and hosted the first one and then a different member of the book club picked a book for each month and will host for their respective month. Here are our picks for the year, in case you need some ideas for summer reading:

April Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See











May These is My Words by Nancy Turner











June My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult











July The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan











August The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer











September The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls











October The Red Tent by Anita Diamant











November The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins











January The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway











February Kane and Abel by Jeffery Archer











March The Life of Pi by Yann Martel











April Halsey's Typhoon by Bob Drury and Tom Clavin