One week ago yesterday my mom, who had been staying with us and taking care of us (not big enough words for all that she did for Dave, Claire, Miss Kennedy and me) for three and a half weeks, left to go home. I have survived and even managed to eat well thanks to some amazing women who have brought dinner to us almost every night and some Indian restaurant leftovers that just keep giving and giving. After a week of doing it alone, I have some reflections. First, I miss my mom. It was so nice to have her company and calm assurance around every day. She makes me feel like a "natural woman"--capable, competent, composed, and comfortable being a mom. When she is gone I have to remind myself of it, sometimes even in a "I am capable, competent, composed, and comfortable being a mom" mantra which replaces the "Am I crazy? What the heck am I doing?" mantra that I am prone to mutter to myself.
Second, a good mom is still helpful even when she is not around. I feel that just enough of her good mothering pixie dust rubbed off on me in the past few weeks that somehow I have managed through the last eight days. She left me know in countless little ways that I could do this on my own, from her comforting words of confidence in me, Dave and Claire to pointing out good mothering in me when she saw it. Her confidence in me lingers and wraps me in the hope that I can be better--more compassionate, more giving, more loving.
Third, a good mom teaches lessons that last. When I am at my wit's end, feeling impatient with Claire, or myself, I wonder what my mom would do and without fail I am able to redirect myself to some better path. She has always chosen patience over intolerance, calmness over sass, looks of praise over distance and consistency overs swats. I remember her mothering and it gives me a wonderful textbook to go by. I remember that her mothering made me feel important, precious and one-of-a-kind and I want my daughters to feel the same way. I am so grateful for the peace of mind she gives and has given me. Today, for some reason, I just know that my mothering cup runneth over.
One week ago yesterday my mom, who had been staying with us and taking care of us (not big enough words for all that she did for Dave, Claire, Miss Kennedy and me) for three and a half weeks, left to go home. I have survived and even managed to eat well thanks to some amazing women who have brought dinner to us almost every night and some Indian restaurant leftovers that just keep giving and giving. After a week of doing it alone, I have some reflections. First, I miss my mom. It was so nice to have her company and calm assurance around every day. She makes me feel like a "natural woman"--capable, competent, composed, and comfortable being a mom. When she is gone I have to remind myself of it, sometimes even in a "I am capable, competent, composed, and comfortable being a mom" mantra which replaces the "Am I crazy? What the heck am I doing?" mantra that I am prone to mutter to myself.
Second, a good mom is still helpful even when she is not around. I feel that just enough of her good mothering pixie dust rubbed off on me in the past few weeks that somehow I have managed through the last eight days. She left me know in countless little ways that I could do this on my own, from her comforting words of confidence in me, Dave and Claire to pointing out good mothering in me when she saw it. Her confidence in me lingers and wraps me in the hope that I can be better--more compassionate, more giving, more loving.
Third, a good mom teaches lessons that last. When I am at my wit's end, feeling impatient with Claire, or myself, I wonder what my mom would do and without fail I am able to redirect myself to some better path. She has always chosen patience over intolerance, calmness over sass, looks of praise over distance and consistency overs swats. I remember her mothering and it gives me a wonderful textbook to go by. I remember that her mothering made me feel important, precious and one-of-a-kind and I want my daughters to feel the same way. I am so grateful for the peace of mind she gives and has given me. Today, for some reason, I just know that my mothering cup runneth over.
17 comments:
Beautiful post. I quickly noticed many of those qualities in your mom during only a couple of short occaisions of being with her. She's amazing!
How fantastic to feel that way about your mom. That is awesome.
She is beautiful and a great mom sounds like you. I'm sure you are doing so great. You are such an amazing person and I can only imagine you are handling everything so well.
Can't wait to see you very soon.
First of all- I absolutely love the pictures. They capture the compassionate qualities you talk about. Second- I have always admired these things in you, so she must be an amazing woman. Third- I think I need 3 weeks with your mom just to learn and soak up these traits. When I have kids, I don't have a clue how I will be all these things to them. It's so wonderful that you have had this time together.
She sounds as beautiful as she looks. Seriously. What a beauty. And that baby tara, she's perfect.
AW! Sniff. We heart Cheryl! She's so great... what a lovely post. Great pictures, too. I believe that last one has a mini-Ian in it. Cracks me up. And Tara, you ARE AN AMAZING MOM too! Someday C or K could write this exact same post about you. Seriously, you are such an adoring, capable, patient, loving, peaceful, intelligent, natural mom... C&K are so lucky. But, keep missing your mom, anyway; that way you'll come up here for a visit soon. :) Selfish request.
Oh, such beautiful thoughts. I am teary-eyed just missing my mom!
Having met your mother I know she is great but because I know you, I have no doubt she is great. You are a fantastic mother, woman and daughter of God!
I was with your mom in some of her young mothering days and truth be known she had her "times" like we all do but your mother has a rare quality of choosing to love and forgive...it always works. You are one lucky lady to have her as your mother. I am always a better person around Cheryl and what lovely pictures...I wish I was as well preserved as she is.
Are you postpartum? No just kidding. That is really nice. I bet it was so comforting to have her there.
You sre so lucky to have such a wonderful mom!!! Which by the wya I love the pictures! Just know you arent alone... the transition from 1 to 2 is so hard!!! I remember a few times right after Clark was born just walking out the door as soon as Brian got home and driving aimlessly just in tears because I was so overwhelem with someone needing somthing at every moment of the day AND night. I am sure you will and are adjusting ALOT better than most!!! Your mom sounds wonderful!
Tara... I am sure you are extra busy but could you e-mail me your mailing address?
amy.slm@cox.net
Thanks!!
your mom is beautiful and as always I love your thoughts.
I hold those same feelings about your mom, Tara. But don't sell yourself short. I treasure the time that I had to spend with you before we moved and now it is both of your examples that I look to each day. You are both beautiful and wonderful.
Your mom sounds just as beautiful inside as she is on the outside. Lucky girl - you got those qualities.
PS - when I hear about your mom now, I think about Ian telling me that his mom had a yoga book. It was so funny.
You made me cry :)
I love your mom! She is so amazing and a superb grandma! (and wow so beautiful)
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