David Turns Six

Dear David,

And seemingly without any warning, you turned six. I have said more times than I can count from birth to ten I think parents need two years for every one of their child's life. Things just change too quickly and just as you think you have figured out one stage and are really reveling in it that stage has passed and you are on to another stage. This is so true with you my sweet David. I have loved you at each of your "stages" so far, but I just need a little more time in each one. This year you have grown up so much. You started Kindergarten and they changed Kindergarten to full-day for the first time this year as well. With just a month or two of warning, I had to wrap my head around you not just starting school, but starting full time. There was more than a few tears shed over this inevitability. However, just like most things you have adapted and thrived in your new experience. You have learned so much. You started not even knowing you alphabet and you can now sound out words, figure out pretty complex math problem (for a Kindergartener) in your head and write like a champ. Plus, you have made lots of friends.

Kindness is a gift of yours David. It is easy for you. Natural. You think of others. You know you words and actions have meaning and consequences. You remember the names and details about others. You will talk to strangers and make everyone feel comfortable around you. I've told you this before but you are just "good company". You are still a chatterbox. I love the clever and wise things you come up with. Here are a few examples:

David: Dad, who is your favorite person in heaven?

Dave: Um, Grandpa Reeder.

David: I would choose God.


Me: (while talking about basketball with David) Sometimes basketball will be easy for you and sometimes it will be hard.

David:Yep, but when it's hard I'll just have to pull it off.

I think the only person you are doubtful about a friendship with is Benji. You aren't mean to him at all, in fact you are pretty kind most the time, but you mainly ignore him. I told you the other day that when Benjamin turns three that he will be your best friend. You replied, "I'm no so sure about that...". I know that you will figure things out though because you are that type of person. Your sisters on the other hand, you adore them and they adore you. You play all the time which always surprises me because you haven't ever adopted playing with girl toys. You just do your own thing right along side of them. Consequentially, you are always surrounded by the girls. Benji will definitely come in handy once you get sick of this dynamic.

David, you still love all things sporty. You've played golf, tennis, basketball and started soccer this year. You love soccer and improved so much over the season. You also are a little embarrassed by your spiderman obsession now and have moved on fully to Pokemon. You draw jets almost everyday, but your constant talk about your airport and life as a pilot has faded. My boy, you have been skiing for two winters now and you took off this year. You beg to do the big hills and challenge yourself and are Dad's shadow on the mountain. You can outlast pretty much everyone, except maybe your cousin Logan.

I love you so much and am so grateful that you unabashedly tell me too how much you love me. In fact, you told me a few days ago that you love me and Dad more now that you are six. The feeling is mutual sweet boy. My love grows impossibly for you every year.

Love,

Mom

Kennedy's Baptism

Last Saturday, my sweet Kennedy was baptized. She was nervous, but determined and sticking to her plan in typical Kennedy style. At the baptism, Kennedy's Grandma Cheryl spoke first. I loved watching Kennedy tucked in next to her dad, watching her Grandma Cheryl give the opening talk. My mom made sure that Kennedy knew how many people were there to support her. Kennedy had little tears spilling out of her eyes and I knew that even though eight sometimes seems so young,  Kennedy knew the commitment she was making to be like Jesus Christ. Brooklynn played the violin next and while she played my tears started rolling.

We then went to the baptismal font and I gave my girl a big hug and told her how important her decision was to be baptized. She looked at me with such emotion. She knew. I knew. This was big. She then went into the font and I stood on the stairs and looked in to her eyes as she got settled in the font. She then looked back and forth from Dave to me with such trust in her eyes. The font only had about a foot and a half of water in it, but one try was all it took. After Kennedy came out of the water she said she felt warm every where. The Holy Ghost was so strong.

McKee played some piano medleys while Kennedy was changing and then we re-entered the room. Linda then spoke on the Gift of the Holy Ghost. She gave lots of examples from the Thatcher family where people chose to follow the promptings of the Spirit. Following Grandma Linda, my almost 101-year-old Grandma Beth bore her testimony. She started off by saying that she has seen the Savior on the beaches of Galilee, she has seen him reviving the dead, she has seen his accompanying her ancestors as they crossed the plains headed to Utah. I could really imagine her tucked into those scenes, an eye witness to Christ. Her testimony was strong and real.

Dave then gave Kennedy the gift of the Holy Ghost. Mark, Brent, Grandfather Ron, Grandpa Sid and Bishop McRae were in the circle. Dave said that the thing that stood out to him most is that Kennedy should use the Holy Ghost as a tool to figure out who she is. Dave said that he knows that she is a thinker and that he really felt like the the Lord wanted her to learn to use the Spirit to understand her own complex thoughts.

Since her baptism, I really feel like Kennedy has grown up. She has been trying so hard to be a good helper, a good example and a leader. She was asked to speak in Primary on Sunday about her baptism. She got up early five days before and wrote her own talk without being asked to. It was perfect. She said how she had decided to be baptized after praying about it to know that it was the right decision for her. She also said that She felt the Holy Ghost like she had never felt it before.

 

 

 

Benji's Birthday

Dear Benji,

Keeping with typical fashion, I'll write your birthday post months late. Your life is going much too fast for me my sweet one. I keep calling you my baby, but you are most certainly now my toddler. The staff at the doctor's office reminded me of this the other day when I took you for your appointment. They kept asking me if you had been seen elsewhere or had gotten your shots anywhere else. I kept saying "no" and then they said, "Well, it has been quite some time since you have been here". I agreed that I had probably missed his last appointment and then they told me that you actually had not been in since you were six weeks old. I was pretty embarrassed, but it just proved to me once again, that you are still a baby to me.

The staff revealed another shocker at your appointment, you are in the 95% for your height. We had been under the assumption that you were a little thing and always called you our little shrimp. That must have been a result of our own prejudice about you being our baby too.

I had to pick a photo of you as a little baby, to remind myself of how far you've come.

This year has been a fun one with you Benji. You have kept us on our toes for sure. You are such a live wire—always moving, always running, always in motion. So we see lots of leaps, jumps and daily falls too as you explore your world. You fly on your scooter and trike. You love to throw balls and hit balls with your golf club too. You are happiest when you are on the move. You love your naps, but you will gladly miss it any day, if there is an adventure to be had.

Certainly, you are spoiled, but just as certain you are amazingly lovable. We have catered to your needs too much, but it is hard to turn you down because your happiness brings us so much joy. To make sure that you know you can't run everything we started discipling you this year with quick "zips" and time out. Your sisters beg to let you out and hover around you and I find myself counting down the moments until I can set you free too.

Your dad is particularly smitten by you. He loves putting you to bed, watching golf with you and letting your hover around while he works. One day while he was working you were sitting on his lap and interfering with his work. He kept repeating to himself, "It is hard", meaning it is so hard to hold a meddling little boy on one's lap while you are working. You then started repeating back, "I it is hard" when you would work. In your mind "it is hard" means "to do work" and of course we have never corrected this phrase. It has become one of our favorite things you say.

Language development was slow and frustrating for you. You really wanted to get your message across and finally this summer your words just started flying out. You have become so much happier since then and little things that would send you into a tantrum before have completely fizzled. You now fill our days with tender kisses, lots of giggles and a flurry of flight.

I love you sweet one and am so grateful that we decided to have you, number four, our caboose.

Mom

My boy turned five

Dear Mister,

All five years of you have been scrumptious. You are such a joy to me, to your dad, to your sisters and brother and friends. You are kind, caring, smart, have a wonderful memory, athletic, and so talkative. I love your constant stream of chatter. You have great insights and are a wealth of interesting topics to talk about.

Here are some of the sweet, funny and clever things that have come out of your mouth this year.

"BB8, do you ever twirl and dance around with your bride? He doesn't have any hair mom and that's okay."

"Mom, what do you do if a tornado is erupting, and you're having a baby in a race car?"

Ever agreeable, when his Dad asked if he wanted to watch Star Wars, David said, "Dad, if I were you and you were me I wouldn't let you watch this movie."

"I will get my own cup because I am a gentleman."

When asked to clean up after himself, "You are like a foster mom mom, like in Annie like Ms. Hannaghan."

When I asked David, "Is Benji okay?", he responded, "I don't know, I didn't look into his eyes."

"David saves the day!"

"I have so much stuff planned for my airport. Im sure I'm up for it. I need to buy a loooot of tools. Will you help me?"

Speaking of your airport, you have had some real obsessions this year—Pokemon, Spiderman and everything airplane, particularly the vision of building and living in an airport when you grow up. You throw up verbal plans regularly. The airport has a church, a gym, a park, restaurants and of course airplanes. You want Dad and I to live there with you and you have asked me to help you build it, but you've said "You don't have to use a hammer, I will hire someone to do that part mom."

David, you are equally good interacting with peers and adults alike. You shake hands, remember names, use good eye contact. You still introduce yourself as David Hezekiah Thatcher, or sometimes "Mister". You are brave and confident. You ask how people's days are going and remember details about their lives. When dad got back from his business trip to Alabama recently, you asked "Dad, how were Bonnie and Margie doing?", referring to the clients your Dad was going to visit.

In the last primary program, you were fully immersed in singing and then at the end of every song, would loudly sing the final note with full vibrato. Dave and I wondered if you were attention getting, but we really felt that you were just doing your best. After, your Primary President said, "I prayed a star would emerge last night and David didn't disappoint."

You love golf, tennis, swimming and basketball and pretty much any sport that we let you participate in. You also love your mommy preschool class, The Five Little Monkeys Preschool. You love to learn and be involved in things. You help your friends to learn social skills, how to play by the rules and even moderate arguments.

Apparently, you even love running because the other morning, I came into the living room and I noticed that you were dressed for the day. I commented that I love that you got up and got yourself dressed. You responded that you got up, got dressed, made your bed and went for a jog outside. I was a more than a bit shocked at the last one since it was 6:30am. I told you that you could not jog alone and in complete seriousness you said, "Mom, I wasn't alone, Heavenly Father was with me."

I love you little boy and am so grateful that God chose us to be your parents and family. You enrich our family and lives!

The Temple

I grew to love the temple over time. When I first attended the temple as an adult, I was scared and I didn’t understand much. I didn’t prepare myself well or take the time to learn about the ordinances in the temple the way I should have prior to going. I got my endowment just before serving my mission and I looked at it as a right of passage to go on a mission, rather than a commitment in and of itself. The best advice I got that first day was to go to the temple often and I did, as often as I could. I found my initial insecurities about the temple were overcome by positive experiences in the temple where I felt the spirit confirm to me about the goodness of the temple. After my mission, while I was at BYU I went to the temple weekly and began to feel more and more at peace there, until before long, it was hard for me to remember why I ever felt out of place there.

When I was in college, I had a friend, who was not Mormon. From the time I first met him, I felt that he would be a great Mormon and quickly introduced him to the missionaries. He took the missionary discussions and started attending church. He really grasped the principles of the gospel quickly and connected with the doctrines of the church, BUT, he just couldn’t make the commitment to be baptized. He was learning and growing as a person, but couldn’t get to the point where he was ready to be join the church through baptism. After a while I just let the gospel discussions drop, but, at Christmas time, I took him to see the temple lights at the Oakland temple and after we went to the visitors center. I had never seen him get emotional and after we toured the visitor’s center this big, strong, guy was in tears. He felt the spirit of the temple so strong. He turned to me and said he wanted to get baptized. This was the first time I had seen the power of the temple first hand on someone who had not grown up knowing the significance of it. It was really powerful to me to see how someone else felt there and to know that the feelings I was learning to feel in the temple were real and not something I was just conditioned to feel.

Years later, I was living in NYC and they asked me to be a tour guide at the temple open house. Over 50,000 people visited the temple in just a few weeks, many who were not LDS. Taking strangers and some friends through the building was amazing. The Manhattan temple is located in one of the busiest areas in the city. It is in a high-rise building across the street from Lincoln Center. There is a subway stop almost right outside the front door. There are shops, hot dog vendors, apartment buildings and the convergence of two streets right in front of the temple. It is loud, there are people, taxis, buses and cars everywhere. You hear traffic non-stop and sirens all the time for ambulances headed to a nearby hospital. Like all of NYC, it can be really dirty. BUT, when you take the elevator to the temple and enter the building it is completely soundless. It is clean. The contrast stops you in your tracks. You suddenly find yourself slowing down, breathing, feeling. You separate yourself wholly from the craziness of the city and enjoy a solitude and peace that really doesn’t exist elsewhere in the city. The people I toured through the temple were blown away by it and almost universally people told me that they felt different there and could see why we love our temples so much. Again, I knew that the peace, love and joy you feel at the temple are strong but it was eye opening to see how others feel it.

I later worked in that same temple, first, as the person who organizes the weekly cleaning of the temple and later as an ordinance worker with Dave when we were newlyweds. Cleaning the temple regularly was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. Our cleaning shifts were on Saturday nights after the last session. The cleaning crew would change into our white temple clothes and slippers, we would then participate in a prayer and a devotional service with the temple presidency. Sometimes you would be assigned to clean the bathrooms, other times the hallways or ordinance rooms, but every once in awhile you would be assigned to clean the Celestial Room. There is something amazing about serving in the temple in such a physical capacity. Imagine being all alone dusting and vacuuming the celestial room. I’ve never felt such a refuge from the world or as close to my Heavenly Father in a particular room.

I once visited a temple in Fukuoka, Japan with my mom and brother who had served a mission there and found my brother being smothered with love from a small, crying, Japanese women who we randomly saw that day. She told my mom and I how my brother had helped her and her family back to the gospel years earlier as a missionary. She testified forcefully how coming to the temple had transformed her life.

I learned the name of my first daughter Claire while rubbing my swollen, pregnant belly in the temple endowment room.

I have sat in the Celestial room with my husband, his parents, and all ten of their children and spouses and have felt what heaven must feel like. And how big and right it feels to have eternal families who have progressed together.

Just last month, I watched beautiful little Emma Thatcher be sealed to her sweet mom and dad and brothers and become a forever family.

I’ve had prayers answered, I’ve had broken hearts healed, I’ve had issues with the church resolved, I’ve had undeniable connections with people I’ve never met and have served as proxy for in the temple.

And it only gets better, I have looked into my husband’s eyes and have been sealed to the person I love most in this world for time and all eternity at the alter of the Lord in the temple.  (Even though I was late to my own wedding and he and his family thought I might not show up, I was a miraculous day.)

These experiences, and personal experiences I have had in the temple over the years, have confirmed to me that the temple has power to transform hearts. That it is not just a place that we have been taught to love. There is a presence there that brings a special kind of happiness and desire for greater commitment and growth than doesn’t exist elsewhere. Knowing that and experiencing the temple makes you want to always have it in your life.

In order to have it always in our lives, first, we need to desire it. I think the best way to desire the temple in your life is by visiting the temple. You cannot even go to the grounds, much less sit and reflect in the Celestial room, without feeling the presence of the Lord. Going to the temple in whatever capacity we can will impact us. If you have a temple recommend, be there as much as you can. Make it a priority. Talk about the good experiences you have had there with your family and friends. If you do not have a temple recommend, visit any temple that you can in proximity to where you live or vacation. Just sit and ponder on the grounds of the temple. Read your scriptures and pray in the gardens. If you have been to the temple and not had a good experience, try it again. Go with people you love and trust and start building up a rapport with the temple.

Second, you also need to be prepared to attend the temple. Prepare by learning all you can about the temple. Pay particular attention in classes when the temple is mentioned. Take a specific temple preparation class. Study on your own the church talks, pamphlets and books that have been written about the temple and scour the scriptures for details about past and present temples and ordinances. Ask questions about the temple from people who love the temple. There are very few things that we cannot share outside of the temple about the temple ceremonies. Don’t be scared to ask questions from church leaders and temple workers.

Last, be worthy to attend the temple. I wish there was a better word for this, because worthiness always seems like such a judge-y word to me. I think of worthiness as more of a process or a trek. It’s a leaning in to the Lord and becoming more like him and desiring what he desires for us. It is looking at ourselves candidly and asking ourselves where we stand in conjunction with our Father’s laws and course correcting where we have strayed.

I love searching for little architectural details, or motifs, in different temples on the exterior and interior. Often on furniture or doors you will find the smallest craving or prints detailing something specific to that temples history or location in the world. Whether it be olive branches, peach blossoms, angels wings, constellations, or beehives, each temple seems to have them. One day while visiting the San Diego temple for the first time, I was visually searching the temple for its theme. On the exterior of the temple there are two massive towers surrounded by smaller spires shooting upward to heaven. This is a typical feature of many temples and helps us remember to look up to the Lord, to point our thoughts and lives toward him. In the two-story Celestial Room I noted a unique feature that I hadn’t seen before in other temples. There are these large columns that hang from the ceiling. They look almost like upside down steeples. I couldn’t really figure out what the purpose of these upturned steeples were but then recalled taking a tour of an underground cave in Barbados years before.

In the cave, there were these massive structures called stalactites hanging from the ceiling of the cave. That looked much like these upside down steeples in the Celestial Room. Then on the floor of the cave directly under the stalactites were limestone columns mirroring the stalactites rising from the ground. They are called stalagmites. Our cave guide explained that stalactites are created by the continuous dripping of mineral rich water, which little by little leaves mineral deposits hanging from the ceiling as the minerals harden. Looking almost like a permanent, hardened icicle hanging from the ceiling of the caves. And stalagmites, the upward facing mineral spires, are created as the mineral rich water droplets drip to the floor from the stalactite leaving behind sometimes massive pillar like formations. Eventually they will join from floor-to-ceiling and become one enormous pillar. They grow very slowly around an inch every 100 years.

As I sat in the temple thinking about this imagery, I felt like those architectural temple spires perfectly represented us and our Heavenly Father. Him, hanging down reaching for us and slowing dropping his dews from heaven on us. Continually bathing us in his love, his mercy, his compassion. Continually buoying us up, helping us try harder and believe in ourselves more. And there we are at the base, starting so small, but, growing steadily under his sure hand. Learning, committing more, serving others, growing taller and stronger. And then before we know it we are almost there. Getting closer and closer day by day. We know all we need is a few more drops and then we will be one. Our father then distills his love on us even more and we finally become one, a pillar that is strong, impervious to outside forces, built on a solid foundation that was created from thousands of little experiences that have expanded us both. One of our apostles, Elder Bednar even refers to the temple as the “intersection between heaven and earth”, like the pillar I mentioned that connects us both.

It dawned on me that day that I don’t know of a better symbol of the importance of the commitments we make in the temple on us personally and our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Brothers and sisters, I know that committing to the ordinances we make in the temple and helping others do the same help us to be better people and happier people. The temple ordinances help us grow here on earth and grow eternally. I am so grateful to know that and to have experienced it first hand. 

And then you turned seven...

My sweet Kennedy,

My love grows bigger for you every year and it feels an eternity older than seven years. You are my ever-faithful companion, my dear girl. When everyone chooses dad, you choose me. I know they love us both and choose the excitement and novelty of spending time with him, but I love that you choose to be by my side. It shows me that you are sensitive and empathetic to even your mother. You can be chatty or you can just sit, be reflective and snuggle with me. I like both sides of you and find you so easy to be around.

This year, I have watched you grow confident in school, not just in your studies which come easy to you and fill you with a lot of excitement, but also with friends. They like you and are drawn to you, but you seem not to know this or doubt it at times. You are learning to recognize signs of friendship and to reciprocate them. This is a process and you have asked to set monthly goals this year working toward developing friendship and overcoming shyness. I like that you are taking control of this and know through handwork and dedication that you can make a different.

You are likewise committed in all that you do. You try hard in everything you do from piano to golf, to reading and tennis. You try to keep up with Claire in everything too. I even see you looking over her shoulder memorizing her vocabulary words. I love that you are not intimidated by the fact that she is two years older than you.

You are Claire and best friends, but you don't leave out your little brothers either. David and Benji stick by your sides. You, Claire and David fall asleep chatting with each other every night. Benji spends his time giggling after you all. He knows that he is safe with you and you will always love him and take care of him.

I love you and your perfect scattering of freckles!

Love,

Tara

Dearest Claire,

Your ninth birthday is just passed and I am approached it with a bit of dread. As much as I want to see who you will become this next year and in your life, I want to hold you longer at this age. I mentally say to myself almost daily about you, "remember this, catch that", over the smallest of details.

Eight has revealed even more of you to me. I feel like I got to know more about who you will be this year than in your previous seven years. You have developed a sense of humor this year, a pride in public speaking, mastered difficult tasks from knitting and tough pieces on the piano to going to golf lessons solo and endless spelling tests. You can do hard things and once you kick in to gear, can really be a quick learner.

You have developed your voice this year. You are still your sweet, loving and naturally good natured self, but you have also learned to stand up for yourself, even against your mom. We have had some battles this year, the kind neither of us like, but some amazing coming to terms and remembering how much we love and rely on each other too.

One of my favorite things about you this year have been your teeth—they are all over the place! They are growing in at all odd angles. You might think that it is strange that I love this about you, but let me explain. You are a beauty girl, inside and out, but let me just focus on the out right now. You have this classic prettiness about you and those teeth are keeping you grounded. You don't seem bothered by your funny teeth at all and I love that you are accepting your pre-braces tween look with such confidence. I know that loving all of your quirky parts is one of the best things a person can do and I love to see you confronting and conquering this early on.

Claire, my little tender hearted first born. I love you completely and wish you the best of years this ninth year of your life.

Love,

Mom