THE Party

This year, we celebrated Kennedy and Claire's birthday together. This was Kennedy's first BIG party, which was really an understated family affair if you are discussing it when Dave is in the room (wink, wink). He believes birthday celebrations are a quick route to spoiled rotten kids, whereas, I think a party all about you once a year is your just due. My sister-in-law, Laurel, and my brother, Ian, threw the fairy-themed birthday bash at their apartment. They decorated, entertained, catered and pretty much made sure everyone, adults and children alike, had an amazing time. They don't have kids yet, but have pretty much nailed what kids love. Sheesh, I can't even nail what my own kids love, so I don't know how they do it, but I am glad they do. My mom made each girl her own cake. Kens wanted Strawberry Shortcake and Claire wanted Rapunzel. To top it off my other sister-in-law, Amie, photographed the whole she-bang. The girls (plus Dave and I) were in heaven and smiled, laughed and were awe-struck through the entire thing. I relished watching their excitement and can't wait to do it all again next year.

10 Things I Did and Didn't Do this Christmas

1. I DID remember the Christ child almost every time I looked in my little ones faces remembering how tranquil, warmhearted, tenaciously attached, not-of-this-world a small child can be and marvel once again at the CONDESCENSION of Jesus-Christ.
2. I DID NOT pass up even one Christmas goody—and trust me, there were a lot of Christmas goodies.
3. I DID miss my cozy, little house and balmy 75 degree weather, just a little.
4. I DID NOT believe it was possible to clean up throw-up so many times, in so many places.
5. I DID get to witness a miracle when Dave's parents, all ten of his siblings and their spouses sat in the Celestial Room at the Logan temple together. Dave's mom said it was the fulfillment of her lifetime dream. Dave and I adopted the same dream that day.
6. I DID NOT regret forgoing the traditional BIG present with Dave and instead spending that money on small gifts for our stockings (Let me assure you, so much less pressure).
7. I DID love watching Dave's mom literally glow, the day she watched her youngest get married.
8. I DID NOT think Mark could laugh any harder, at himself, naturally, as Master of Ceremonies during the family gift exchange—so fun to watch.
9. I DID sweep the Thatcher family BINGO/White Elephant, taking home a Kindle and an iHome.
10. I DID NOT keep Santa a secret, which means...dum-de-dum-dum-dum...Claire knows! I just couldn't keep up with the lies. It was too hard on me. I crumbled under the pressure. She kept asking so many questions that I had to fess up. Santa's not real!!! Warn your kids in case anything slips out of her mouth.

And then she turned five

Over Thanksgiving weekend, my first baby, Clarie, turned five years old. She woke up with a look of sheer glee on her face and chanting, "I'm five years old! I'm five years old!". My resting place thoughts for days before and after were about her—how grateful I am for her, how in love I am with her, how proud I am of her, but mostly about the first day I met her. Claire was born at 10:51pm on Thanksgiving day, November 23rd, 2006. She weighed in at 8 lbs 6 ounces and was 21.5 inches long.

She never had her first moments blogged about,since I hadn't even heard about blogging at that point, but I did record her birth experience in my journal. I read it today and want to post it first because I am a sucker for baby stories and second, because I am a sucker for anything about my kids.

We waited for Claire for a long time. We tried to get pregnant for almost a year and a half and when we had finally threw in the towel and determined we needed professional help, she was conceived. In fact, the day we were scheduled to get the results of our fertility analysis, we officially found out I was pregnant all on our own.

My pregnancy went beautifully with only a few hiccups at the beginning—morning, afternoon and evening sickness. Poor Dave went through it during this time because it was too soon to tell everyone else, so he got the brunt of all my complaints about the smells that I couldn’t take and the food that made me nauseous. I can’t complain though because the rest of the pregnancy went so smoothly. Claire was a real trooper and grew perfectly and gave her me plenty of time to adjust to my growing belly.

I can’t even express how wonderful being pregnant felt. I loved holding my stomach and feeling little Claire frolic around. I felt that she would be sweet and calm as a little person from the gentle way she would move around in my tummy. She received plenty of love from both Dave and me and from everyone else she encountered. Typically hostile New York subway riders would even smile and offer me their seats. Strangers would wish me God speed and congratulate me. Restaurant goers would rush me to the front of the line at bathroom queues. My co-workers loved her into this world, patting my tummy daily and talking to her, leaving little goodies on my desk to make sure that Claire had enough to eat. One co-worker insisted on calling her Tara Jr. my entire pregnancy. I loved the attention and was grateful people were so interested in her.

Before Claire was born, Dave and I had been working at the temple as ordinance workers for about a year and we felt that Claire was a direct blessing from working in the temple. In fact, it was at the temple that Claire became Claire (although we didn’t know that would be her name at the time and even fought it for a long time—up until the second day at the hospital when we had to fill out the birth certificate). When I was about five months pregnant, I dreamed one night that our baby’s name would be Claire. We had discussed a bunch of different names, but Claire wasn’t even on the list. Chloe, Noelle, Olivia, Tessa, Abigail, Isabella, Butterball (in remembrance of Thanksgiving Day—Uncle Ian strongly objected) and many others made the list at some point, but Claire just wasn’t a name we had thought of. The day after my dream, I was working at the temple as the follower in an endowment session and was thinking about our little one. I held my stomach and the name Claire kept coming to mind. In fact, in my mind I called her Claire Bella and spoke to her throughout the duration of the session.

Claire was loved and wanted for so long that both Dave and me felt truly amazed when she finally arrived. When we got closer to the due date, Wednesday, November 22nd 2006, we kept debating when she would come. Dave and I both felt she would be late because she was riding so high in my tummy, also because we just didn’t feel a sense of urgency. Dave called her the little bat, because he felt she had hooked her tiny toes around my ribcage and was refusing to come down. Her grandma Cheryl had arrived on Monday and I suspect that Claire might have just been waiting for her to arrive, so she didn’t have to be delivered and then cared for by such amateurs.

On Thanksgiving Day, Claire decided it was time to make herself known to the world. Around 11am, I started having small and what I would later realize fairly painless contractions. I spoke with my brother, Jared, that morning and he suggested that I baste my tummy and then stick a turkey thermometer in my belly to determine if Claire was done. We had planned to go to Thanksgiving dinner at the McAdams and despite the fact that my contractions were becoming more regular, we went around 2pm. We spent a good three hours at the McAdams feasting and enjoying the company of friends (and washing Claire’s new clothing, which I didn’t want to wash at the corner Mat for the first time). By 5pm, my contractions were getting pretty regular and we decided to go home. When we got home, we started timing the contractions and they were five to seven minutes apart. We spent the next hour and a half at home, trying out all the techniques we learned in Lamaze class with the marvelous Jane Weiss, who we owe our calm pregnancy demeanor too. I got massages and took a warm shower and then we called the doctor. He directed us to go to the hospital and were at Mt. Sinai by 7pm. We took a cab there and on the way we laughed with the cab driver that we were going to name Claire Madison, for Madison Avenue the street she was born on or even, 5th or Avie for Avenue.

By the time Dave, my mom and I arrived at the hospital, I was already dilated to a seven and that is when the real work began. Dave and I had decided during Lamaze class that we didn’t think that I should have the epidural. We just wanted Claire to be herself when she was born and were worried that I would be pretty out of it with the epidural. From the moment we got to the hospital though that “Are you ready for the epidural?” chant was the most frequent thing we heard. Without my mom there, I am certain that we would have relented and just done it, but she kept calmly replying we’re going to do this without the epidural. Laboring was hard, really hard, but I felt so much love an support from Dave and my mom. Locking on Dave's eyes and having him help me breathe was amazingly helpful.

Around 10pm, the nurse came in and offered me the epidural one more time. She said she didn't think there was anyway the baby would arrive before midnight and that if she didn't start moving they were going to have to give me a C-Section. The minutes after she left were the hardest of my pregnancy. I started panicking and wondering if I could handle the contractions for several more hours. I even started wondering if I was doing something wrong by not having an epidural. I remember looking to my mom for reassurance and she said definitively to me, "Your baby will be here within the hour." Then Dave and my mom and I said a prayer that I could finish my work, feel peace in my labor and have a healthy baby. This prayer grounded me and not very long after that I started feeling like I needed to push (but was confused over what I needed to push out, if you get my drift). Dave went to get the nurse to check me before I went to the bathroom and after she checked me she went and got the doctor.

I don't think my doctor does many natural births, because for an experienced doctor he seemed pretty anxious. Pushing was really tough for me, so tough that the first time I looked in the mirror after Claire was born I was shocked to find out that I had broken small blood vessels on my forehead, shoulders and both eyes (which made mommy/baby shots really attractive). When Claire came out at 10:51pm (just like my mama said she would), I just remember feeling elated, feeling like it must feel to complete a marathon and being overwhelmingly grateful (even for my nasty nurse and anxious doctor) and especially for my coach/husband and my mom. I also remember thinking how BIG Claire was and perfect. They swept her away from me really quick and I told Dave and my mom to go be with her. I was so worried she would feel alone.

We loved her from the start, but had no idea how exponentially that love could grow. I am so happy she has been mine, at least on this planet, for five whole years.

Family 2011

The talented Lillie once again worked her magic with my family and Shari's family. Which is no small feat with my three kids under five and their cousins too. Here are a few of my favorites, including the last pic that conceptually is really great (two brothers with all their boys), but ended up looking like The Modern Family. We've had quite a bit of fun chuckling at that one.

Keepers

Claire takes her artwork very seriously. She practices each day. She copies artwork in our house. She tries out new styles. And for a four year old, I think her style is pretty fantastic. Claire loves to ask, "Is this a keeper mom?" anytime she has worked on a new art project. Here is a sampling from my keeper files.

This cat on the stuffed chair is a replica of a piece of artwork on the wall in our kitchen.

Note Claire sitting in a chair watching Dave and me get married. The temple in the distance, the preacher (with a ball cap), Dave (with a ball cap) and the confetti showering down on us.

I love the fairy wings and the bird shooting directly up into the air. She has been working on getting her birds right for quite some time and nailed this one.

This is Dave and me with the girls and baby D watching over us. I love the dress, the flowers and the different hair styles.

The Teapot. The detail is exquisite. I almost wanted her to color it but then you couldn't see her lines as well.

Claire drew this for Dave the last time he was out of town. It is Dave in a golf cart with Claire in the back seat. Note the seat belts.

Proud Claire. Man, I love her creativity.

Shake N' Bake

Claire once told me that when Kennedy turns two she would be her best friend. It took a little longer than that but sometime this summer it happened, my girls became best friends. Watching my girls friendship unfold one of the best things I have seen as a parent. At first I found myself just holding my breath and trying to catch sly glimpses of them every time I would catch them together hoping my attention to them would drive their camaraderie away. Then, their friendship settled in and I realized that it was around to stay. Over the summer, I deliberately stayed around the house a lot more than we usually do just to give them time to really cement their relationship. They imagine, they chat, they create, they laugh, and of late, even share the same food. They ask a few times a week if they can put their food on the same plate, sit in the same chair and share their meal. Not exactly great table manners, but unbelievably cute.

Speaking of sharing, the other day I complimented Claire for sharing her toy with Kennedy in the car. Claire then says, "Do you know why I shared with Kennedy? I felt this warm thing around me that told me to share. It was the Holy Ghost."

So what do they talk about? About anything, but Claire usually leads off with some find-out that I would never think of asking such as "Kennedy, do you like hot dogs more, or watermelon, or cheese?" During play, the conversations get more elaborate. Overheard: "If you trade me your voice Kennedy, I will let you play with my Rapunzel."

Do they fight? Yes. At times, epically. The fights usually start over some misunderstanding like this: Kennedy says, "Why her al-er-ba-tor?" (Translation: Why is she on an elevator?) Claire retorts, "She's not an alligator, Kennedy!" They make up quickly though, usually with one of them trying to sneak the other one out of time-out and Kennedy saying "I'm sorry", even if Claire was the aggressor.

I love they are realizing how great having a best friend in your family can be. Nuf said, I hope it never ends.

The Real Housewives of Palm Springs

On Thursday I left to San Francisco with 12 friends to run a Ragnar relay race. The Ragnar website explains it like this:

You and 11 of your closest friends running 200(ish) miles, day and night, relay-style, through some of the most scenic terrain North America could muster. Add in crazy runners, inside jokes and a mild case of sleep deprivation. The result? Some call it a slumber party without sleep, pillows or deodorant. We call it a Ragnar Relay.

Our race started on the Golden Gate Bridge and ended in lush Napa Valley. There are two vans with six people in each van. I was in van two. Each runner had three legs. I had a three mile, a nine mile and a five mile run—more miles than I had ever run in my life. Leg one and leg two went really well for me. I ran my first leg late afternoon, and my second in the middle of the night. I loved the night run even though it was my longest. I flew, for me (which is more like a quick shuffle). I had a ton of energy. I only saw ten runners on my entire run and it was on these meandering county roads. I was so grateful my van stuck by me during the majority of my run, at one point they were literally passing me water out the window. My third leg was the last leg of the race and didn't start until almost 3pm the day after we started. It was by far my toughest run. After a full day and a half with about 15 minutes of sleep, I had hit a wall before I even started. My time wasn't what I wanted on leg 3 but I was really proud I didn't collapse before the finish line. I ended up grabbing some random guy at the mile marker and making him run with me the last mile. I don't think we could have finished the race running without each other.

The race taught me so much, that I am a little stronger than I thought, a little faster than I thought and that I really have some great friends. The twelve girls I went with are all amazing and I really bonded with them all, but particularly the girls in my van. There is something about spending four solid days together traveling, laughing, inspiring and supporting that really makes for a intense friendship building experience. We all pushed ourselves to our physical and mental limit. I think the race is harder emotionally than physically. Our van's last leg of running has it's fair share of laughter through tears, but we all made it and each said we would do it all over again.

For just a sampling of the favorite laughter through tears moments, here's my girls word for word.

No, I've got to keep praying (after being asked if she wants any music during her three mile climb)—Robyn
You just ran a mountain—Roxanne
What does your shirt mean?—Alysa
Let's do that for each other in heaven—Robyn
I ran up a ramp at the beach two months ago (when asked how she prepared for the Ragnar hills)—Robyn
If the answer to the question I just asked you somehow reflects on you, you misunderstood me—Tara
I ran fast for Shannon so she could get over with it—Robyn
A motorized scooter (after being asked if we could get her anything on her 7.7)—Shannon
TRANSITION!—Tara
You've dilated to a four (after asking Shannon how things are progressing)—Roxanne
How did I end up with the pee bottle—Alysa
This rag mag is one big lie—Alysa
You're cresting—Tara
I just let Roxanne's confidence, Alysa's silliness, Tara's calmness, Shannon's loyalty and Staci's gentleness wash over me (when asked how finished her hardest run)—Robyn

Van 1 (photos courtesy of Lillie and Lizzie)

Van 2