Three

Dear Kennedy,

You are three now and I want to remember everything about three on you. I watch you a lot. I watch you when you know I am looking. I watch you when you are distracted. I watch you when you sleep and you know what? I love each angle of you. You are at this marvelous stage right now where you can express yourself well, you can manage on your own without constant supervision and you like to be with the big kids, which makes me savor the minutes where I can just watch you from afar and particularly the moments when I get you up close.

You are usually the first to rise in our house about 6am. I wake up to the sounds of your footsteps padding around the house. Unlike your older sister, you usually do your thing in the morning and don't always come and wake me up first thing. Sometimes you play, sometimes you scrape chairs across my nice, new wood floors to climb into the fridge and get yourself breakfast, sometimes you will come in for a quick snuggle, but mostly you will wake up big sis by turning on the light and getting dressed in your uniform. You call it "the Target". It was purchased at Target but it is actually a leotard and you usually throw a bright pink skirt on with it. All day long people will ask me if you just came from/are going to gymnastics, then I have to confess that you have never been in gymnastics, but just love the look. Maybe I shouldn't let you wear the same thing every day, but there is a huge part of me that just loves that you have an opinion.

Unlike last year, you talk now. You keep big sis awake at night talking. You can rattle on and on but are also okay with silence. Like only three-year-olds can do, you mess up words and say things like yogurt mat (yoga mat), arm pips (arm pits) and honeydude (honeydew). You also ask things like "Why do all the cars have ears?" while pointing at car's side view mirrors. You have a scratchy, almost tuneless singing voice too that just kills me it is so cute. Claire tries to shush you when you start singing because you mess up her songs. I don't let her though. I've got your back.

You had an accident this year. We don't really know what happened but when I checked on you sleeping one night, after leaving you with a babysitter, you had a huge bruise on your right cheek and it was really swollen. Over the next few weeks the swelling went down and the bruise started to fade and then one day a deep crease appeared at the sight of the bruise on your face. It was scary. For days, every time I would stop talking and even sometimes when I was talking I couldn't think of anything but you. I was worried you had nerve damage or something bad I couldn't even bear to imagine that could cause you harm or hurt. I called my brother Aaron, who is a doctor, to get and opinion. I took you to your doctor, I took you to get a CT scan and an ultrasound and from what I have been told it looks like it is just a pool of blood under the skin that has puckered your perfect cheeks. The doc says it will go away in about six months. It has been four months now and it has faded somewhat, but I have gotten used to that little indent and because it is part of you now, some days I wonder if I will miss it.

Kennedy, I love to watch you with your baby brother. You call him "Mister". I guess I started it by singing the "Hey Little Mister, what have you done?" part of Billy Idol's White Wedding Day song to Baby D each time he got into mischief. Your enthusiasm for the nickname has caught on and that is what we all call him these days.

You have dubbed yourself baby D's "tector" (protector) and you really look out for him. You make him bottles and feed him and even try and help change his diaper. You are always the first one to tell us when he has woken up in the morning and if it takes him too long to wake up you take care of it yourself. I find your toys and baby dolls in his crib. I don't remember you being jealous of him, really ever. When he was a few months old, he was crying one day and you told me he was hungry. I guess I didn't respond quick enough because you came over and tried to pull down my top and undo my nursing bra. Yep, you are that kind of take charge gal.

Dad and I find it hard to get upset with you and there are times you deserve to be disciplined. Trust me. You have a disarming smile on your face most of the time and are rarely tell us "No", which is funny because that was your favorite word when you were two. We'll ask you do to something and you will just quietly wander away and do your own thing and until we forget what we asked you to do. Good thing, Claire loves to tattle or you might never learn how to clean up after yourself/brush your teeth/say sorry/etc.

Thanks for being my second Kennedy. You came so seamlessly that it seems like you have always been here and you certainly belong here. You make my life so much richer, fuller and sweeter.

I love you,

Mom