Our Toughest Work

The other day I was having some pretty strong nesting urges and decided to clean out our guest room closet, which contained wall to wall boxes--some of which had not been opened since our last move from New York. It was such a great walk down memory lane. I found pictures, stories Dave had written, letters, playbills and love notes (not all from Dave either, smile). This all coincided on my typical pregnancy depression over the general decline of civilization. I'm sure my gloom has something to do with the fact that I have this innocent life growing inside me and all I want to do is protect him/her from sadness, corruption, others bad choices, etc. It seems like everywhere I look from books and newspapers to TV and movies I am bombarded with images of what I don't want my children to be exposed to. It really makes me worry that I won't be able to prepare them enough for what lies ahead and the trials and temptations they will face.

Anyway, while I was rummaging through my closet I came across this email from my stepfather that gave me hope. He wrote it four days after Claire was born.

Your mother told me that you left quite a bit of yourself in the delivery room last Thursday. But be consoled; you have done your toughest work regarding this sweet daughter until the year 2020. Enjoy the next thirteen years and then get a good strong blessing and read Job.

Here is something further to think about: We know we have a charge as God's children to do our duty to Him. But I also think, if I may be so bold as to suggest, He may have a duty toward us. Job does not say it, but he seems to imply this, that God owes something to his children. He made His child incapable of living without Him. For the fulfilling of this their claim God has sent His Son. We have no merit, but God has given us rights. His whole desire and labor (This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and Eternal life of man) is to make us capable of claiming the things he has promised us--our birthRIGHT. You did not create "your" child; you (we) only yielded to an impulse created in ourselves. God is infinitely more bound to provide for His child than any man is to provide for his. God created both the child and the child's hunger. He made us, His creatures of a thousand necessities--have we no claim on Him? A created need is a created claim. God is the origin of both need and supply, the Father of our necessities, the abundant giver of good things. Your (His) child's necessity, her weakness, her helplessness are the strongest of her claims--on you now, and on Him later. And this is just what God desires--that His children should claim their Father and their birthRight that He promises His obedient child.

My stepfather's words have been so comforting to me these past few weeks. I particularly love the thought, "Your (His) child's necessity, her weakness, her helplessness are the strongest of her claims--on you now, and on Him later". I really do feel my children's claim on me now. I just want to fill their minds with all things good, uplifting, abundant. Claire, in particular, is a little sponge right now and I have felt very clearly that I can choose to either teach her faith or doubt. She asks so many questions--really profound questions. Today we were talking about Jesus and I told her that he is her brother. Later today, she says to me "Mama, we have five people in our family, mom, dad, CC, Kennedy and Jesus". She trusts and believes me which can be really overwhelming. She is exercising her claim on me and right now I need to remember that my responsibility is to fulfill this claim by making sure that she knows that she is capable of claiming her birthRIGHT.